For several years I worked countless evenings and weekends on this Organizational Proctology. Much of that time was spent in search of the practical steps asshole-related-stress (ARSe) sufferers can take to deal with workplace assholes. The framework outlined in chapters 6, 7, and 8 provide these pragmatic steps.

 

That said, it would be the greatest of omissions were I to neglect sharing a few foundational truths, Biblical truths to be exact, that I have personally found key in dealing with life’s hardships, including people who behave badly in the workplace.

   

We are by nature given to selfish behavior

In the book, I outlined a three-part answer to the question, “Why do people behave badly?” For some, it’s nature: They’re hardwired toward selfish, mean-spirited behavior. For others, it’s nurture: Their background and experiences influence how they view and interact with the world around them. For many others, it’s simply a choice: They understand there are options for how to engage and lead people, yet they purposefully choose to give in to the dark side of the force.  

 

The question behind the question is more foundational: “Are we inherently good or bad?” On this point, I do believe Richard Dawkins and a few of his counterparts have it right: “We are by nature given to ruthless selfishness.” Still, other atheists miss the mark completely when they suggest that man has evolved to be inherently good-natured and that sin (evil) is a behavioral aberration that materializes in those who are unbalanced. I believe the Bible rightly highlights our selfish nature: “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16).

 

If you’re like me, as you’ve read Organizational Proctology and considered the descriptions of assholes at levels 1 through 5, you came to the same conclusion I did: I’m a jerk, at least, more times than I’d care to admit. The truth is, we do things we wish we hadn’t. The apostle Paul points this out clearly in Romans as he confesses his struggle in “doing that which he knows he should not do.” Here, Paul points out that we have a sinful nature that we struggle to overcome.  

 

I’m a recovering sinner. If it were not for the grace of God, I would give in to my sinful nature and do my own thing. “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…[because of] sin living in me” (Rom 7:14-15). 

 

But I have the assurance that “the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘no’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age”(Titus 2:12). 

 

Adapt, Change, or Transform

In the book I spoke to the difference between adapting and changing. Adapting is fairly straightforward: Be mindful  of the prevailing trade winds, read the environment for what’s the “acceptable” behavior of the day, and pattern your interactions to fit in. Yet, deep down, you’re still the same person on the inside, you’re just; “putting on a show” for those who matter. Change, real change, requires a significant impact to how you think, and this in turn affects how you behave.

 

Yet there is something more that recovering asshats need to consider: how to transform into the person we want to be. Adapting is fairly straightforward: Be mindful of the prevailing trade winds, read the environment for what’s the “acceptable” behavior of the day, and pattern your interactions to fit in. Yet, deep down, you’re still the same person on the inside, you’re just “putting on a show” for those who matter.

 

Change, real change, involves more effort. It requires thoughtful reflection on how you choose to view the world. Sincere change forces you to evolve your thinking, and from this, your behavior sincerely changes. While honest change does result in a “new” (and hopefully) better version of you, deep down inside you will continue to wrestle with your old nature.  

 

What’s needed, what’s missing, is transformation. Transformation fundamentally affects who we are; and there is only one power that can initiative this transformation: the power embodied in the love, mercy, and grace of God through Jesus Christ.

 

Using the “A” word

Earlier in the book I apologized to my mom for using "asshole" as a description for really bad behavior and I sought to share a bit of history around this term. Still there is a question I must address if for no other reason than I myself continue to struggle with its answer. “How do I resolve the clear contradiction in using the a-word along with the statements I now make relating to my Christian faith?” Either I am insincere in my profession of faith or I am naïve/immature in my walk with Christ.  

 

I’ve wrestled with this contradiction for as long as I’ve been working on this book. I sought advice from people I greatly respect, both spiritually and professionally; yet I’ve not fully resolved this in my heart. I am firm on my conviction not to overlook, dismiss or excuse my use of the “A” word. I am ever mindful of the admonishment in Ephesians to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” (Eph 4:29) 

 

I gave much thought to omitting this Post Script so that I would not bring any disgrace to Christ. But how can I ignore the most meaningful and powerful love in my life? And the most impactful defense and treatment for ARSe.

 

So, this is where I’ve landed. First, to allow the book to stand on its own merit. Again, my hope and prayer are that this book provides the needed balm to help heal and strengthen those recovering from ARSe. Second, to acknowledge the contradiction in some of the language I use and the faith I proclaim. If using the “A” word creates an offense to some, it was not my intention and I am sincerely sorry. Finally, I own the deficiencies in my character and failings in my faith. I do not accept or tolerate my sinfulness, as if by some misguided sense I think this brings greater glory to Christ. Rather I humbly expose my selfish nature and ask for patience as God continues to transform me day by day into the image of His son. 

 

The single most important relationship you’ll ever have

At the conclusion of Organizational Proctology, I pointed out that the secret of life and of recovering from ARSe is having positive meaningful relationships. I’m blessed to have some of the most meaningful relationships a person could want. Yet the single most important relationship in my life is the personal relationship I have with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.  

 

My searching for a meaningful relationship with God was a matter of curiosity. A friend in high school was a Christian. He acted differently than others in school. He was confident and self-assured without the bravado typical in high school. So I began my search by looking closely and critically at this guy’s life. What was going on with his family and his other friends?

 

This searching led me to his mom and dad, and then his church. Once I could see this was something more than words, I began to question for myself how I could have this type of relationship with God. In a matter of speaking, my searching began with envy. I saw something in someone else that compelled me to ask: “Can I have that, too?” 

 

For me, there was a world of difference between Jesus as my savior and Christ as my Lord. I felt my belief in Jesus gained me admission to heaven, but Jesus was not my Lord. I did not look to God for direction in my life, nor did I regularly seek to align my words and deeds with His desire. 

 

As with most of us, as life moves along, we encounter times where our own strength and resources simply are not enough: we are shipwrecked. During these times, when I called on the Lord, He has always answered. Then over time, I began to understand that if I would daily bring life before Him I could rest assured that whatever came into my life would first be passed through the filter of His love.

 

The question is straightforward: “What must I do to be saved?” And the answer is equally straight forward: “Believe in the Lord Jesus” (Acts 16:31). We must come back to the point that salvation, or more to the point, faith in Jesus Christ that leads to salvation, is a gift from God (lest any man should boast: Ephesians 2:8). 

 

I’m especially drawn to how the Bible so clearly describes my life: ‘You see, at just the right time, when I was powerless, Christ died for such a rotten person like me. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrated his own love for me in this: While I was still a mess, Christ died for me’ (Romans 5:6-11).

 

I’m compelled to recite the characterization of John Newton in the movie Amazing Grace. When Newton was asked how he was able to hold to his faith so long and so strongly, his response summarized the gospel message:

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I am a great sinner and Christ is a great savior!

 

If you want to know more about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, check out: